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"that's right baby, i'm goin crazy..."

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Aug. 3rd, 2005 | 12:13 am
i feel: confusedconfused
my sound: goin crazy - natalie

why do boys have to be so stubborn? it's like sometimes they don't even want to try. they don't want to give it a chance. or is it that i don't want to give it a chance? that's why i make mistakes. but we all make mistakes...and it was a mistake...and i wish it had never happened, but it's not like i can take it back. i tried, and wanted, to move on and get past it. but he couldn't do that. and maybe that's not all it was, but that was all i was let in on. but even so, there was no communication. can't have any kind of relationship without communication. and somehow i know that it never could've lasted long term, just because of the way he is...he can't give me what i need out of a relationship...just to know that he cares. and i would never ask anyone to change who they are for me...and that's why part of me feels it's ok that we're not together. because he pissed me off so many times with the way he treated me...his sarcasm and insensitivity. but at the same time, everybody has faults...i know i'm not perfect, no one is. and that's why it hurts sometimes. because i try to look through the imperfections to see the good within. and no matter how many times he would make me mad...i still wanted to be with him because we had so many good times. and when i would think of him, i would smile....because i truly cared for him and i trusted him. and although it didn't last long, while it was there it was so real. and although i couldn't see something long term, it could've been there....because it just felt right. but he didn't want to try...he just gave up. so i let it go too. and it surprised me that i wasn't nearly upset about it as i thought i would be, even though it did hurt from time to time. but it just makes you think....what if someone comes along that could be everything you've ever wanted, but you don't realize it...or you don't let yourself see it...and then you let them go. i guess you have to trust fate in those situations. because if it's meant to be, then they'll come back to you....right?

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