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Aug. 5th, 2005 | 03:08 am
i feel: sleepysleepy
my sound: right to be wrong - joss stone

so i know i never update this often, but i've had a lot on my mind lately and this is kind of a good way for me to get it out without having to scream...or actually talk to the person that i want to talk to because he doesn't want to talk to me. i would love to be his friend, but he obviously doesn't want that. because if he does, then he should just talk to me. but i don't know why i feel bad about it all. i really don't think we're compatible...but you can't help who you fall in love with...not that i fell in love with him. i guess it's just that i've been through a lot of guys int he past year and he's the first guy in a long time that i really, truly cared about...and he just kinda dropped me, without trying...without talking to me...or trying to understand how i feel...or even trying to tell me how he feels. and that hurts my feelings. "talking doesn't make anything better." that's bullshit, you could never have a relationship like that. because when there is no communication, there are assumptions, misunderstandings, and hard feelings...and that's a bitch to clean up.

i'm sorry if anyone is actually reading this, because i don't think anyone is and that's kinda why i just let it out for myself. so please excuse my patheticness.

so on another note...this is my last weekend at work. Tuesday is my last day and i leave next Sunday. I'm kinda sad just cuz i'm gonna miss all my friends. But at the same time, i know that i'm coming back. it's only 5 months and it'll be like i was never gone. Tonight I asked Elliot what he wanted from Disney World and he said, "I want you to come back and not go." And thinking about it now, maybe just cuz it's really late now, but it kinda makes me want to cry. I'm definitely gonna miss Elliot. Even though, i only see and talk to him like once or twice a week...i definitely consider him one of my best friends now. He's a great guy and I love him so much...and he deserves to be in a great relationship and I know that it will find him when the time is right.

And I'm gonna miss Kim. She's a really good friend too. We've been working together, doing admissions together on Sat night for over a year now...and the parties and all. But everything I've been through the past year, she's been through it too. haha...and she's put up with it, and listened to all my crap. and i appreciate her for that.

oh well, i think i'm gonna get some sleep and i'll update some more later. night.

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