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Apr. 4th, 2010 | 05:22 am
i feel: curiouscurious

anyone alive out there?

I'll never let go, Jack. I'll never let go.

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knock knock

Oct. 13th, 2006 | 05:19 am


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i'm feeling all out of my element

Sep. 27th, 2005 | 02:29 am

lsu lost. that sucks. only because frankie got to rub it in my face, since i did that to him when miss state lost the other day. but i know lsu is gonna kick state's ass when we play them so it's all good. fucking cow bells.

i only have 3 months left here...kinda hard to believe. i know i'll be excited about going home because i miss my crew. but i'm gonna miss the people i've met here too. and i've grown rather fond of my side of the room. i want to go back because i miss my friends and my mom and dad...but i love it here. i don't like working for disney but i love orlando and i want to stay here. but i can't...not yet. graduating from lsu is my best option right now. so i'll go back to baton rouge, back to being a full-time student, back to working two jobs, back to friday night poker which is one of my only escapes from life. the guys here suck at poker...i definitely kicked their asses without even trying. easy money. i can't wait to go back and play against the ego-driven cuban though. i got this shit.

my sister annoys the fucking crap outta me...she's so self-involved. she needs to get out of her "denver bubble" and remember that other people exist in this world. but then again, she's always been like this. that's why i never could get along with her. she needs to fucking grow up and realize that i'm not a little girl anymore...it's not for her to judge me or the things that i do. i can take care of myself.

fall out boy - hard rock cafe - orlando, fl - october 18, 2005
i will be there

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Aug. 25th, 2005 | 11:05 pm
my sound: techno music from the guys upstairs

some people just don't get it. they're just too self-involved to even want to understand, although they say they do. but you don't have to understand it to respect it.

no cute boys yet in orlando. well, a few actually. I met a Cuban, like Eri...damn I hate those Cubans. they're cute, but trouble. gotta love the accent though...i think that's the sexiest one. some guy did ask me out...twice. he talks too much though. kinda obnoxious. i think he just likes the sound of his own voice.

the guys that live above us like to play loud techno music late at night. it shakes the walls. and when they walk, it is so loud. it always sounds like they're doing aerobics or something...jumping around.

i need to rest...

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"awww group hug!"

Aug. 14th, 2005 | 04:21 am
i feel: exhaustedexhausted
my sound: Jason Mraz

so comes the end to my last day in BR for a while...and my trip to orlando actually starts in less than 3 hours. however my dad will be driving the first part of the way...and i will be sleeping in the passanger seat. i got home a little while ago from Elliot's party. It was fun. Had a little buzz going, that's why I got home so late. Always give yourself time to sober up. And the first thing I did when I got home was take a shower because we were outside the whole time and I felt so gross.

Anyway, Elliot hugged me like 5 times before I left. And me, him, and Kim had a group hug. And of course I got to say goodbye to the rest of my SG gang.

So I'm off in a couple of hours....hopefully I'll be able to visit Tammy while I'm there. That would be fun.

I'd write more but I need some sleep...it's been a long, good day...and i'm pooped.

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Aug. 12th, 2005 | 12:32 am
my sound: Elton John

Tread on my face if you like little lady
Turn me inside out if you have to baby
But don't you cross me off your list
I am young and I ain't never been kissed
Never been kissed by a lady called Amy

You're far out, you're fab and insane
A woman of the world, it's quite plain
My dad told me Amy's your name
Said he'd break my neck if I played your game
But he can bust my neck `cause I love you all the same

Amy I know you don't have to show your affection
`Cause the big boys like you and to you I'm an infection
So if you don't want me around
I think I'll run along and drown
You can't want this bum in town Amy

I'm beaten on the streets `cause I loves you
I watch you go to work in the summer
I don't whistle at you down the street
I would if I could but I can't whistle you see

Amy I may not be James Dean
Amy I may not be nineteen
And I may still be in romper boots and jeans
But Amy you're the girl that wrecks my dreams

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My Top 10 Downloads

Aug. 7th, 2005 | 10:45 pm

10. Echo - Trapt
9. Never Let You Down - The Verve Pipe
8. Cool - Gwen Stefani
7. Sugar, We're Going Down - Fall Out Boy
6. Right To Be Wrong - Joss Stone
5. Scars - Papa Roach
4. You And Me - Lifehouse
3. Fall To Pieces - Velvet Revolver
2. Cold - Crossfade
1. Best Of You - Foo Fighters

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i heart you cole robin....cuz u ratchet

Aug. 7th, 2005 | 02:58 am
i feel: amusedamused
my sound: Jason Mraz - the one and only

oh, yeah...i could definitely say so much right now about that, but i'm gonna pass on it. So you go ahead and have your ego trip. Hell, have it for the rest of your life. I'm glad it worked for you. Enjoy it. I just want you to know that I have absolutely no hard feelings, because I was perfectly fine with being friends...and you said that you wanted to be my friend, but oh i do believe that you were the one who took me off your friend's list on facebook, which is kinda immature i think. and also ironic, considering....you lied....but called me a liar...and i actually told the truth. because if you knew anything about me, and the things i've been through...you'd know that i can't fucking stand liars, and that's why i don't lie...i have no reason to. oh, and the insensitivity...yeah that has to do with the comment you made one night about my sister being irrational because she moved to denver to get away from my stepmom. and don't even try and say that i misconstrued that comment, because i was there, and the way you said it was extremely hurtful, because you have no fucking clue about my stepmom and the hell hole i've been living in for the past 7 years. why do you think i always want to work so much...i don't want to be at home.

so have a nice life and i wish you the best of luck in future relationships, and i hope you find the girl you're looking for.

PS...why ya readin my livejournal anyway...it's been like, what...a month almost? and you're the one who wanted to end it, so shouldn't you be over, like, trying to check up into my life and trying to get into my head. yeah...maybe...

oh, and just one last note: I don't even like spaghettios. They make me feel ill. Yeah, I just always thought that was kinda ironic...and funny too.

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(no subject)

Aug. 7th, 2005 | 12:47 am
i feel: contentcontent

hey, you


i have something for you.....::hugs and kisses::

thanks spaghettio...you do know how to make me smile

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(no subject)

Aug. 6th, 2005 | 10:02 am
i feel: workingworking
my sound: best of you - foo fighters

yeah maybe so

last weekend at work...and i'll be there allllll weekend.

and then packing. i think i know what i'm gonna miss the most...Cane's.

and my hair because i'm about to cut it all off...

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(no subject)

Aug. 6th, 2005 | 01:10 am
i feel: contentcontent
my sound: sweet home alabama - lynyrd skynyrd

so he thinks.

read between the lines sweetheart.

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(no subject)

Aug. 5th, 2005 | 03:08 am
i feel: sleepysleepy
my sound: right to be wrong - joss stone

so i know i never update this often, but i've had a lot on my mind lately and this is kind of a good way for me to get it out without having to scream...or actually talk to the person that i want to talk to because he doesn't want to talk to me. i would love to be his friend, but he obviously doesn't want that. because if he does, then he should just talk to me. but i don't know why i feel bad about it all. i really don't think we're compatible...but you can't help who you fall in love with...not that i fell in love with him. i guess it's just that i've been through a lot of guys int he past year and he's the first guy in a long time that i really, truly cared about...and he just kinda dropped me, without trying...without talking to me...or trying to understand how i feel...or even trying to tell me how he feels. and that hurts my feelings. "talking doesn't make anything better." that's bullshit, you could never have a relationship like that. because when there is no communication, there are assumptions, misunderstandings, and hard feelings...and that's a bitch to clean up.

i'm sorry if anyone is actually reading this, because i don't think anyone is and that's kinda why i just let it out for myself. so please excuse my patheticness.

so on another note...this is my last weekend at work. Tuesday is my last day and i leave next Sunday. I'm kinda sad just cuz i'm gonna miss all my friends. But at the same time, i know that i'm coming back. it's only 5 months and it'll be like i was never gone. Tonight I asked Elliot what he wanted from Disney World and he said, "I want you to come back and not go." And thinking about it now, maybe just cuz it's really late now, but it kinda makes me want to cry. I'm definitely gonna miss Elliot. Even though, i only see and talk to him like once or twice a week...i definitely consider him one of my best friends now. He's a great guy and I love him so much...and he deserves to be in a great relationship and I know that it will find him when the time is right.

And I'm gonna miss Kim. She's a really good friend too. We've been working together, doing admissions together on Sat night for over a year now...and the parties and all. But everything I've been through the past year, she's been through it too. haha...and she's put up with it, and listened to all my crap. and i appreciate her for that.

oh well, i think i'm gonna get some sleep and i'll update some more later. night.

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"that's right baby, i'm goin crazy..."

Aug. 3rd, 2005 | 12:13 am
i feel: confusedconfused
my sound: goin crazy - natalie

why do boys have to be so stubborn? it's like sometimes they don't even want to try. they don't want to give it a chance. or is it that i don't want to give it a chance? that's why i make mistakes. but we all make mistakes...and it was a mistake...and i wish it had never happened, but it's not like i can take it back. i tried, and wanted, to move on and get past it. but he couldn't do that. and maybe that's not all it was, but that was all i was let in on. but even so, there was no communication. can't have any kind of relationship without communication. and somehow i know that it never could've lasted long term, just because of the way he is...he can't give me what i need out of a relationship...just to know that he cares. and i would never ask anyone to change who they are for me...and that's why part of me feels it's ok that we're not together. because he pissed me off so many times with the way he treated me...his sarcasm and insensitivity. but at the same time, everybody has faults...i know i'm not perfect, no one is. and that's why it hurts sometimes. because i try to look through the imperfections to see the good within. and no matter how many times he would make me mad...i still wanted to be with him because we had so many good times. and when i would think of him, i would smile....because i truly cared for him and i trusted him. and although it didn't last long, while it was there it was so real. and although i couldn't see something long term, it could've been there....because it just felt right. but he didn't want to try...he just gave up. so i let it go too. and it surprised me that i wasn't nearly upset about it as i thought i would be, even though it did hurt from time to time. but it just makes you think....what if someone comes along that could be everything you've ever wanted, but you don't realize it...or you don't let yourself see it...and then you let them go. i guess you have to trust fate in those situations. because if it's meant to be, then they'll come back to you....right?

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some good song quotes

Jul. 12th, 2005 | 03:01 pm
i feel: contemplativecontemplative
my sound: all of it

"they got that southern cookin'
they got them fellas lookin'
thinkin' i was easy i can see it
that's when i say no, what fo'?
shawty can't handle this
[Amy] got that fire like
oh, round here we ridin' slow" --"Oh" by Ciara

"i don't expect the world to move underneath me
but for god's sake could you try...

it seems so much is left unsaid
but you can say anything
oh anytime you need
baby it's just you and me
i know that you're true to me
you're always there
you say you care
i know that you wanna be mine" --"Where Is Your Heart" by Kelly Clarkson

"he's magic and myth
as strong as what i believed
a tragedy with
more damage than a sould should see
and do i try to change him
so hard not to blame him
hold me tight
baby, hold me tight
oh and i don't know
i don't know what he's after
but he's so beautiful
such a beautiful disaster
and if i could hold on
through the tears and the laughter
would it be beautiful
or just a beautiful disaster" --"Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson

"i dream ahead to what i hope for
and i turn my back on loving you
how can this love be a good thing
when i know what i'm going through
in my head there's only you now
this world falls on me
and in my dreams there's real and make believe
and this seems real to me
you love me but you don't know who i am
i'm torn between this life i lead and where i stand
and you love me but you don't know who i am
so let me go
just let me go" --"Let Me Go" by Three Doors Down

"every long lost dream
led me to where you are
others who broke my heart
they were like northern stars
pointing me on my way
into your loving arms
this much i know is true
that god blessed the broken road
that led me straight to you" --"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts

"i'll be your crying shoulder
i'll be love suicide
i'll be better when i'm older
i'll be the greatest fan of your life" --"I'll Be" by Edwin McCain

"i don't wanna be angry no more
you know i could never stand for this
so when you tell me that you love me know for sure
cuz i don't wanna be lonely no more
what if i was good to you
what if you were good to me
what if i could hold you till i feel you move inside of me
what if it was paradise
and what if we were symphonies
what if i gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you" --"Lonely No More" by Rob Thomas

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life's crazy

Apr. 24th, 2005 | 04:04 am
i feel: sleepysleepy

it's funny how you sometimes think you've got it all figured out, someone or something... And then the bomb drops, and everything changes.

also, how do things get to be so far off that it becomes weird to see your biological parents together? today, i saw my dad and my mom standing by each other and it was weird. i have not seen them in the same room in so many years. and when i looked up, and saw them both in front of me, in my view...i had to look away. it was the strangest thing.

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